We’re Married!

Wow friends - i’m a wife! I still can’t believe it! Yesterday I got married to the most amazing man, and it turned out to be better than I ever could’ve imagined. It was truly a whirlwind though - more so than I could’ve ever anticipated. It went by so quickly. Anyway, I wanted to check in here quickly, if only just to remember how I felt right after getting married. I ditched my phone all day yesterday, but our wedding planner Leda was kind enough to share some wonderful photos and video on Instagram (follow her @eventshelddear) so i’m excited to share a sneak peak. ALSO, we ALREADY got a peek from our videographer (Livemore Weddings) and I wanted to share that with you two. This video had Mark and I in tears. It’s everything we could’ve ever wanted, and we are so excited to see the full thing!

Anyway - i’d better go because I have so much to do before we leave for Barbados tomorrow. There’s leftover food and alcohol all over our apartment, and I haven’t packed a thing! Oops!

My Hopes for Marriage

I recently came upon these words about marriage that my sister shared and I want to make sure that I always remember the, As we’ve planned our wedding, it’s been so easy to get lost in the details - the flowers and decor and chairs and food and money and all of the annoying little details. These last few days before we get married though, i’m forcing myself to let go of all of those silly worries and to focus, instead, on what it’s really all for. If there’s one thing i’ve learned working in the industry it’s that wedding days are simply what they are: there will be laughs and hugs and tears; there will be beautiful moments and there will also be some things that don’t go as planned. Some random member will say something cringe worthy, and someone will probably wear jeans. Someone will most definitely be late. It will be one day of our lives and then it will be over. Marriage is so much bigger than that one day. I hope that my heart can hold that truth through it all.

I hope that marriage will have magical days, but I know it will have dull days too. I hope that on the magical days, I can have the awareness to soak in every last bit of it. I hope that marriage is full of belly laughs and silliness and never acting our age. I hope that in my marriage, when i’m angry and frustrated, I will take the time to remember why I made the commitment in the first place, and why I loved in the first place. I hope that marriage is a soft place for me to land when the world is hard, and that I will be that for my partner too. I hope that marriage will be like having a built in best friend, a never-ending sleepover, and a forever number one fan. I hope that marriage will be simple in some ways and complicated in other, but fulfilling always. I hope, more than anything that i’m good at marriage. That I can learn to be good at it. I hope that I live a long long life, that I grow old and gray and wrinkled with Mark and I hope that at the end of it all, my marriage was the greatest thing i’ve ever done.

A New Friend: Meet Frankie!

Hi there - just checking in with a quick post to introduce you to someone new! Meet Frankie: the newest furry addition to our little family! You’re probably saying to yourself: “wait, were they planning to get another cat a month before their wedding?” and the answer is: of course not! We’ve been so stressed getting things ready for the wedding so we decided to have a little date night and well one thing led to another and we came home with a cat. Isn’t that a normal date night for you???

Anyway, we love our little Frank already, and can’t wait to watch him grow. So far he is super playful, super cuddly, and a bit gassy - but his cute little face makes up for every time he farts on me in bed. I’m already nervous to leave him next month when we go on our honeymoon, but I know Henry and Penny (and our cat-sitter) will take great care of him!

Speaking of Henry and Penny - if you’re wondering how they’re holding up with the new addition, I think that these photos really say it all.

I’m just kidding of course! They’re already coming around to him…

A Day at the Fair

Mark and I have been making an effort lately to take days off - from work, wedding planning, housework, all of it. Just a day every now and again to not talk or think about any of those things - to just be together and have FUN. Today we spent our day off at the Ohio State Fair, and it was really the most fun i’ve had in a long time. We ate corndogs and fries, went down the giant slide, saw the parade, and took in all of the sites and smells. We even saw a bunch of cute animals getting ready to be shown for 4H and the butter sculpture. We ended the day with the best fair treat there is - deep fried cookie dough. It was a great day, and one I never want to forget, so here are some fun photos to remember it by.

Our Save the Dates!

Last week marked six months until our wedding day, and that means its time for Save the Dates. After a few nights of stuffing and stamping, we dropped them at the post office, and off they went! Now that most everyone invited to our wedding has received them, I thought i’d share a little glimpse on here!

Our invitation suite, including the Save the Date, are truly special to me because I designed them with my best friend and Maid of Honor, Hannah. She is a super talented illustrator based in the Chicago area, and I was so honored when she agreed to collaborate with me as a wedding gift.. It has been so fun to work on together, and I will forever treasure this design and the memories i’ll have. What an amazing gift to be able to treasure.

. Be sure to check out more of Hannah’s work on her website.

When beginning the design process, I collected a lot of inspiration and began to narrow down some elements that I was drawn to. The most important aspect of the suite to me was for it to set the tone for the rest of the wedding - elegant, classic, and moody.

Once we had the design down, it was time to print! I had sort of a change of heart at the last minute, and we ended up working with Alaina of Cheer Up Press to have all of the elements letterpressed. She was so great to work with, fit us in on a tight deadline, and did a truly beautiful job. Mark and I both agreed that it was 100% worth it, and that the dimension that letterpress creates really put the entire design over the edge. Alaina also designs custom invitation suites, so if you’re getting married, and aren’t lucky enough to have a super talented illustrator for a friend, then I would definitely look into working with Alaina!

From the beginning, I knew that I wanted to use a calligrapher and vintage stamps for our suite, but I am still blown away by how amazing they turned out! Special thanks to Keri of Calligraphy by Keri who did such a beautiful job. We’ve also hired her to do some custom calligraphy for the wedding day as well, and I can’t wait to see more of her beautiful work!

I sourced the stamps from a few different etsy shops, but the majority came from Vintage Postage Shop. Liz was so very kind, and the stamps came so beautifully packaged. I chose the stamps myself, but she also has an option to curate a selection for you! I got enough stamps to send our Invitations as well, and am even more excited for those!

Using vintage stamps was admittedly a bit complicated, but totally worth it in my opinion. I’m planning on a whole blog post just about how I went about figuring it out for all of you getting married (or really just sending any special mail - they could be used for a lot of occasions)!

Sending out Save the Dates was admittedly a bit more emotional than I thought it would be, though i’m sure others might find that a bit weird. When we went to drop them off, I felt a bit nervous all of a sudden. I put a lot of love and time into them, and felt nervous about them getting lost or damaged. More than that, though, it made it all start to feel more real! Once our friends and family started receiving them, I was getting texts left and right and it just filled up my heart. I know that the next six months are going to fly by and I truly cant wait!

Around The Apartment Lately

Because we’re planning a wedding (goodbye money!) and also planning to move into a home next year, i’ve been doing a lot less buying for our apartment lately. It’s actually been pretty nice, and kind of a fun challenge. I’m the sort of person who gets tired of looking at the same things day in and day out, so I love to refresh areas of our home every so often. Using only what we have or occasional second-hand or thrifted finds has been super fun, and reminds me of living in my very first apartment during college - which was 90% thrifted!

Overall, we’ve just been enjoying the space, even all of it’s idiosyncrasies (though i’d happily have a dishwasher again any day now). It’s nice to enjoy what we have, and really soak in the phase of life we’re in right now. A lot of things are going to change for us in the next few years, so slowing down and just being feels really important.

Because of that, I wanted to compile some of the photos i’ve snapped of our space lately. I know that despite the peeling paint and the mismatched furniture and the occasional dying plant, I will look back on these photos and always remember the love that filled this little home of ours.

For Mom

There’s really not a gift in the world that I could give that would express the love and gratitude that I have for my Mom, but this year I sure tried. Recently i’ve been going through old family films and converting them to files that can be securely saved for years to come. As I was watching each one, I was struck by how much love you could feel from my Mom - at basically every stage of my life. Whether she was helping me as a baby, playing with me as a toddler, or cheering for me as a preteen - she was always, always there. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to compile some of our best memories into a short film - hopefully it encompasses even a fraction of the love I feel for her! My mom, my very best friend! Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Five Years

Yesterday, Mark and I celebrated our five year anniversary! The day also marked six months exactly until our wedding, and was the last time we’ll ever celebrate April 19 as our “anniversary” - how crazy is that?!

This last year has been a whirlwind. We went to the Grand Canyon and we got engaged!!! I quit my job, started freelancing full time, and we spent a year filming weddings together. We started planning our own wedding, and learned that weddings are hella expensive. We took lots of little fun day trips and started being a bit better about budgeting. We laughed at a lot of memes and sang loudly in the car on drives in the country and spent many nights in snuggling with Henry and Penny. We had some hard times too - Mark was laid off for about a month and I had some tough things happen with my business. I also struggled majorly with my anxiety this year and we both had to navigate that in different ways. There were a lot of uncertain days and our fair share of tears but we also laughed and loved through all of it.

Every year, I look back and am always amazed at how much we’ve grown in our relationship. This year is no exception. We’ve forced ourselves to have some hard conversations about marriage, and both worked really hard on some of our personal shortcomings in an effort to make our relationship more successful. We started communicating in more productive ways. I’m really proud of the work we’ve done, and continue to do every single day. We’re nowhere near perfect, but the strides we’ve made together in the last year make me so confident in our decision to commit to each other in such a big way.

We celebrated our anniversary with a simple evening. Mark made us reservations at Milestone 229, hoping we could get a table on the patio and look our over the Scioto Mile. Unfortunately it rained all day, which put a damper on that plan - but we still had an amazing dinner and a great time. We also splurged and got two desserts and I accidentally ordered a piece of cake as big as my head! We spent dinner talking about wedding plans and future home plans and about the past five years. We both agreed that it feels both like been together forever, and that time has also flown by! Funny how that works.

I love Mark so much. When so many other things in life seem so confusing, he’s such a comforting spirit to come home to every single day. I feel incredibly lucky to call him mine, and to celebrate another year together. Here’s to many, many more.

Read: Severence by Ling Ma

Severance by Ling Ma is the first book that I finished this year! I picked it up because I generally love anything sci-fi, and the genre-defying combination of apocalyptic zombies and office drama was intriguing. It was a quick read, and I enjoyed getting to know Candace Chen. Her inner turmoil about the death of her immigrant parents, her seeming lack of direction in life contrasted with her extreme inherent work ethic, and her deteriorating romantic life feel all encompassing even in the face of a rapidly spreading epidemic called Shen Fever. New York City, and the rest of the world, quickly falls into disarray. Those effected, the “fevered” aren’t zombies in the traditional sense, but instead continue to live out their daily tasks and routines as they mindlessly waste away. Ma forces readers to confront the realities of mass consumerism, how truly connected we are globally, and how Americans love to feel removed from the consequences of capitalism. I enjoyed this book: the writing was eloquent, and the authors intentions were clear, but I have to admit that the ending left a lot to be desired, and overall the story didn’t feel well thought out. Still worth a read if you want to feel even more distressed about the state of humanity than you probably already are (#jk#sorta). But really, it truly is a book with a lot of heart that I think is worth the read!

Let the Sun Shine In

Outfit details: Skirt//Joanie Clothing Top//Target Jean Jacket//Old Navy Earrings//Target Slides//Old, Similar

“You’d be so pretty if you weren’t so fat.” The first person to ever say that to me was a cute boy that I had a big crush on who sat with me in the back of the school bus every day. He was beautiful and I was a shy middle schooler who dreamt of being a famous singer. I don't remember much from my life at that time, but I do remember my embarrassment mixed with confusion and that the only response I could think of for his insult was “thank you.” I remember going home that day, crying into my pillow, and then looking at myself in the mirror. I wondered - if he thinks I could be pretty, then at least there's hope, right?

That was just the first time in my life that something like that has been said to me. It wouldn't be the last. So many times in my life people have told me something along those lines, though maybe in a less crude way. At some point it began to be something I said to myself. That mindset has effected every aspect of my life. My relationships, my career, my clothing choices, even the way I treat my body. I couldn't look in the mirror without feeling disgust. I eventually avoided looking at myself if I happened to pass a mirror throughout my day. I hate having my photo taken, and avoided it at any and all cost. I have so few photos of myself and my boyfriend from the first few years of our life together, and that's why. Thinking about that makes me so sad.

At some point, I knew that it was enough. Something needed to change. I started taking small steps towards understanding, looking at, and loving myself and my body in new ways. Accepting and loving myself has been a long road, and my journey is nowhere near done, but I am finally starting to feel content and confident in my own skin. I feel fearless in so many aspects of my life. I am running my own business and growing as a filmmaker. I feel happy and fulfilled in my personal relationships, and am working to grow new friendships. I wear outfits that I like and I feel good in. I see photos of myself and I like them. And now, I share them!

Throughout college, I tried a few times to begin blogs and share my outfits. Most of those ended up failing, because I would hate every single photo of myself. I never felt comfortable in clothes if they felt like a risk, and I was so worried about receiving negative feedback, that it never lasted for long. I don't consider myself a highly fashionable person, and don't plan on becoming some sort of "fashion blogger" any time soon, but I do think it would be fun to share some of my outfits here. I want to work to perpetuate the idea that taking risks and wearing clothes that make you FEEL good is for any person of any size! I think that a quote from my favorite poet, Mary Oliver, really sums it up: "Love yourself, then forget it, then love the world." 

I loved this little outfit that I put together this past weekend for a birthday dinner for my Mark. I had him snap some photos for me around our apartment and I, of course, took a few of him too. Our guy Henry ran out the door when we left, so we got some photos with him too. I love them both so much. It fills up my heart to know I have these photos!

I hope these photos of myself and my boys always remind me of the beauty of the first really nice day of spring.The first day where you cant help by take your shoes off and run your feet over the grass. The first day where you really notice the birds singing outside your window in the morning. When opening the window makes it a little bit chilly in the house, but you do it anyway. You light a candle and turn the music up and let the fresh air make you feel alive.

Happy Spring friends. I hope you have the courage to wear something that makes you feel free, and let the sun shine in.

Happy New Year!

Hi friends! I know that it’s been pretty quiet around here, but I just wanted to pop in to say Happy 2019! I can’t believe the year that we get married is finally here!

We had a quiet night in last night and watched the ball drop snuggled up together with the kitties. We originally were going to have some people over like we have in the past, but a lot of folks already had plans, and a few friends were sick, so we just opted to hang out together. I wouldn’t have wanted to ring in 2019 any other way!

I spent some time this morning journaling, and wrote down a lot of goals for myself this year. I do this every year, but for some reason, this year felt a lot different. Instead of setting unreasonable expectations for myself or centering my goals on weight loss or career goals, I focused on what I could do to improve my quality of life, and how I could work for the next year to become a better partner, friend, and daughter. It felt really affirming and positive, and made me so excited for the months ahead!

Overall, my goals seemed to revolve around making consistently healthy choices (and no, i’m not referring to dieting), reading more, and to keep striving towards being the woman I want to be, no matter how difficult that may seem sometimes. This year, most of all, I really want to work on moving away from fear, and no longer letting it dictate my decisions.

I know this year is going to be full of many beautiful, meaningful moments. I cant wait to celebrate with family and friends, and to marry the love of my life. My hope for all of us is that this year is full love and joy and peace. I hope that on this day next year, we can look back with pride and contentment at a year well lived.

Every Day. For Always

Six years. Some days I still miss you so much it hurts. Some days it still feels like we just haven’t talked for a long while, like maybe I could just pick up the phone to call you. This year ive felt closest to you when I make music, and I’ve vowed to do it more. I wonder what you would think of the things going on in my life and in this crazy world. I wish more than anything that you could meet Mark. I know you would love him. The more years that pass, the more certain I believe that our souls will meet again, whatever that may mean. I love you Daddy. And I Miss you. Every day. For Always.

Decorating for Christmastime

Happy December! Merry pre-Christmas! It’s time for chunky socks and hot cocoa and best of all…Christmas decorations! Mark is a real stickler for not allowing any Christmas decorating to happen before December 1st, so once it rolls around, i’m usually pretty antsy and ready to get REALLY into the spirit.

Decorating our tree together is one of my very favorite traditions. We put on some Bing Crosby and get out the tinsel and he does all of the work while I direct the whole thing (anyone else do this to their partner? just me?). I love looking through all of our ornaments together. We have ornaments from both of our families, dating back to our grandparents and great grandparents, and we also have lot of new ones that we’ve purchased together, too! It feels so special to have so many memories tied to each ornament - it’s like our little tree is full of love.

This year it hit me that I’m not sure that we’ll ever get a different Christmas tree. We bought this one during our first Christmas together. I was convinced that I wanted a white one, and we found this one at a thrift store. The original lights were burnt out so we stripped them off, put new ones on, spruced it up a little, and it’s been with us for every Christmas since! I love this little tree of ours. I don’t think I could ever part with it!

Now that we’ve got the living room decorated, i’m working on adding little touches in all of the other rooms. Our apartment is super small, and we have a LOT of decorations, so I try to swap them into our regular decor throughout. It’s a fun festive way and really cheers me up as I move through the apartment.

Finally, what would Christmas be without some cookies? We got these super adorable cookie cutters from amazon this year, and I cant wait to make cute cookies for all of our friends and family! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season spent with those you love the most!

Choosing Our Wedding Venue

Well - we have officially chosen our wedding venue! One (huge) step closer to our wedding and it feel so good to get such a big decision out of the way. If we’re being honest, I was super worried about finding a venue that was within our budget, but also met our criteria. Isn’t that the struggle of every couple planning a wedding though? I really want to get married somewhere that has character - not a brand new venue that was built just for that purpose. One big hope of mine was to find a venue to get married at that I haven’t shot a wedding at before. We also were hoping for somewhere that was more flexible than a lot of places we know about or have inquired about. It would be nice to be able to bring in most of our vendors, but lots of places have strict rules about catering and bartending. We want something that feels like us - that is unique, but still classy, and that can feel intimate - I want our guests to feel transported! I was so worried that we wouldn’t find all of that in one place, but then when searching for venues in Columbus, I found one that i’d never heard of before.

Let me introduce you to - The Beverly Mansion! As the name implies, this venue is an old mansion, built in the early 1900’s that sits on 40 acres. It’s in Marengo, Ohio, and while that’s a bit further outside of the city than i’d hoped, i’m really glad that it’s a bit secluded and surrounded by beautiful greenery. The inside is impeccable - they’ve kept so many of the details original to the mansion, including furniture and wall hangings, and anything new was sourced from the same time period (aka vintage heaven). The ballroom is two stories and has a beautiful balcony (i’m imagining musicians playing up there possibly) and a huge crystal chandelier. There’s also a beautiful large sunroom that I would love to have dinner in by candlelight as the sun sets. Our back is a huge oak tree that, weather permitting, we will get married under. There are even beautiful rooms for each of us to get ready in. Around every corner is a beautiful detail. It truly is the perfect venue for us, and I couldn’t be happier. The moment we walked in - we just knew!

We’ve picked a date (keeping that to ourselves for now, but it’s 2019 for sure) and officially booked and I truly don’t think I could be any more excited. I feel both that the venue is a perfect fit and also that it will be the perfect inspiration for lots of our details going forward.

Though this feels like such a big to-do off our plate, it also means that we have some definitive details about our wedding to move forward with as far as planning goes. I hope that this little peek into our venue gives you some inspiration and i’ll be sure to keep up to date here as we continue to finalize our plans!

Wedding Planning: Gathering Inspiration

Hi friends! Happy Friday!

Now that we’re getting deeper into wedding planning, I wanted to start sharing some of the process with you all, and I thought it was appropriate to start back at the beginning of the planning process! Right after Mark and I got engaged, we took some time to just soak it in. We made some big decisions like when and where - we knew that we wanted a fairly long engagement, and that we wanted to get married at a venue that unique (and that I hadn’t shot a wedding at a bunch of times)!

It was nice to get those big decision out of the way, and then to sort of just take time to process this huge commitment we were planning to make to each other!

Once I was ready to really delve into planning, I started where any girl would, Pinterest. Pinterest gets a real bad rap, and I totally understand where that comes from. Looking through so many beautiful wedding images, really the best of the best, can not only be overwhelming, but I think leads a lot of planning couples to just copy a bunch of things they see others doing. I truly believe that a wedding should be first and foremost about your relationship with your partner, and celebrating that love. I also feel strongly that your wedding should reflect your values, beliefs, and taste as a couple, and nothing should deter that. This means that you shouldn’t be swayed by what other people do, or what families/friends want you to do. It also means that you should stick to the budget that makes most sense for you, whatever that may be.

Can you tell that i’ve though a lot about this? What can I say - i’ve seen a lot of weddings!

With all of that being said, I do think that if used in the right context, pinterest can be a really great tool and resource when planning any event, but especially a wedding. I mostly used the site to gather general inspiration at the beginning of planning, but since have used boards in order to keep lots of links in one place - and to also share lots of information with my bridal party and our mothers! It’s been so helpful for not only the wedding, but also in designing the invitations, and in the organizing of my bridal shower and bachelorette party.

Here are the two mood boards that I began with. These are what I brought to our planner when we first met with her. I feel comfortable sharing these because the vision has really changes and been majorly refined since these were made - but I will say it’s so fun to look back on these and to see so many elements of our wedding that came out of these images and were expanded upon.

If you’re in the beginning stages of planning, my best suggestion is to start with basics or your event: What are the feelings you want to evoke? What will dress code be? What kind of experience do you want your guests to have? For the most part, you don’t have to worry about budget, or how to bring anything to fruition, or any specifics really! once you refine your inspiration, those things will come into focus! I would also suggest to pull inspiration from many different places. Vintage weddings, architecture, and fine art were some of my favorite places to pull inspiration from, especially as we moved into a more cultivated vision for your wedding!

Our Grand Canyon Engagement Photos

One of the very best parts of having a joint engagement is that you can make decisions together about how, when, and where you want it to happen. It also means that you can be honest about what is a priority to you at such an important milestone. For me, I really wanted to have beautiful documentation of such an exciting time in our lives. So, while we were on our way out to the Grand Canyon, Mark and I decided to hire a photographer local to the area to meet us for a mini photo shoot. We got officially engaged earlier in the evening, and were able to spend about 30 minutes with the photographer as the sun was going down. Wow - it was so worth it. She sent us the photos recently and I still am not over how beautiful they turned out! Just looking at these photos makes me tear up a little bit. I know that we will treasure these photos forever.

When I look at these photos - I can just tell how excited we are and how close we feel. It is truly invaluable to have such a wonderful keepsake of this moment in time. I can’t wait to look back at the photos when we’re old and gray and telling our grandkids all about how we met and fell in love.

Grand Canyon Road Trip: Our Engagement Story

As most of you probably already know, Mark and I took a road trip to the Grand Canyon in May, and….we got engaged! We had both never been to the Grand Canyon, and though most of our friends + family thought we were crazy to drive, thought it would be fun to make a long road trip out of it!

We did this trip on a budget, which actually ended up being super fun! We brought two huge coolers to keep food and drinks in, and we ate out of those most of the time! We had so much fun making little stops for picnics, listening to podcasts and custom playlists, and seeing so many different states - even if only from the car. It was interesting to see the landscape change drastically as we made our way out west!

Along the way, we just stayed in whatever cities we started felt we needed to stop in, but once we made it to Arizona, we stayed at the beautiful Grand Canyon Railway Hotel. The lobby (above) was to die for. The railway hotel is a historical part of the Grand Canyon, and is located in the town of Williams, about 30 miles away from the actual canyon itself. I found that it’s really difficult (and expensive) to stay at or closer to the canyon, so we opted to just have a short drive to and from, which didn’t bother us. As the name implies, the hotel also doubles as a railway station, and guests of the hotel can ride the railcars to and from the canyon, which was super cool!

We got in to our hotel later in the day, so decided to rest up and head to the canyon the next day. The next morning we took things slowly, had a yummy breakfast, checked out the railway gift shop, and then headed to the canyon!

Check out the film that I made from our trip! Makes me cry every time I watch it! I’m so glad that I annoyed Mark with the camera the whole time so that we’ll always have this to look back on!

I wasn’t really sure about what to expect from the Grand Canyon, but it truly blew me away. I was surprised at how emotional I got when we stopped at the first point. Luckily, we went in late spring, so there weren’t too many people around, and we got to do a lot of exploring on our own. I loved seeing all of the unique plants, and stopping at so many different points on the canyon, because each had such different views. We also were lucky enough to hear some off the cuff presentations from park rangers, and learned a lot of interesting stuff! I truly cannot believe that people trek all the way down into the canyon, and back up!

We spent the day running around to so many spots in the park. I cried approximately 100 times from the sheer beauty, and then later in the afternoon, we headed to the main visitor’s center to grab some hot dogs and buy some souvenirs! How cute is Mark in his hat? I just love him so much.

Later that evening, as the sun began to set, we headed to Lipan point, which we had read was one of the most beautiful spots on the south rim. The view there truly took my breath away, and after taking it all in, Mark and I started reminiscing on the whirlwind of the trip, and on our past few years together. Before I knew it, he was down on one knee, and with tears streaming down both of our faces, I said YES!

Looking at these photos, I can still feel the excitement and happiness of that moment. Calling our families and friends to tell them the good news, just soaking in the beautiful moment and being together in one of the most gorgeous places on earth. Not to mention, I couldn’t get over that rock on my left hand! So weird, and amazing!

After about one million photos and ring selfies (it’s good that Mark really loves me), we headed back to the hotel. We ate takeout in our hotel room, and had such a fun night soaking in all of the excitement and love!

The next day, we headed home on a high. The drive home was something i’ll never forget. We talked and talked about our dreams for our wedding day and our future marriage, and I cried so many happy tears. We also got to stop at Cadillac Ranch as we made our way through Texas. This has been on my “bucket list” for as long as I can remember, and it was truly a magical experience. Something about the combination that perfect Texas evening, and the history of that spot, and our love and happiness - i’ll just say that how I felt in that moment was something i’ll never forget.

It was a truly amazing trip, and not just because I came home with a fiancé! It probably goes without saying, but it’s not something i’ll ever forget. I’m so thankful for Mark, and for all of our friends and family who showered us with love during that time. It means more than anything.

Four Years

Four years ago today I had a first date with a guy at High Beck Tavern. He was six years older than me and we had met online and I was slightly worried that I might get murdered. We drank Blue Moons (which was the only beer I drank at the time) and talked about books and music and cameras and baking bread. We went to the Book Loft and looked around and showed each other some of our favorite authors (that was the night I was introduced to Tom Robbins, whose writing has changed my life).

It wasn’t some fairytale “love at first sight” but I left our date intrigued about this quiet, thoughtful, funny guy. Since that day, my life has changed drastically.  Mark has made me a better person by far. He has changed the way I view the world. Our love found me at a very sad and confusing time in my life, and he brought the sunshine back in. He has encouraged me and loved me when it felt like there was nothing left to love. He has allowed me to dream and held my hand as we’ve taken huge leaps together.

We’ve fallen in love over (so many) episodes of Star Trek and subs at Tommy’s. We’ve moved in together and then moved again (sorry friends who helped us). We’ve quit jobs with no plan and started new careers. We’ve loved and taken care of two cute kitty cats. We’ve built an entire life together. Mark - thank you for loving me, thank you for traveling across the world with me and dancing in hotel rooms with me and crying with me when things are shit. Thank you for bringing me water when I don’t want to go downstairs before bed, and for rubbing my back every single night. Our life isn’t perfect, and we surely aren’t perfect people, but every day I know it’s worth it.

Happy Anniversary Baby.

As The Beach Boys sang,

“God only knows what I’d be without you.”